Spring into Puns (Ethnobotanipuns): A Love Story

Subtitle: Things that make friends, family, and other unsuspecting lifeforms groan in annoyance. 

Forewarning, guys, gals, and non-binary pals: 

I've been writing and collecting these for a while and while just posting a list of planty puns would be fun and humerus (heheh), it'd be a touch boring.  Going back over it, just now there are some bad pick-up lines in there too.  So this happened, instead. 

Note: I did a video version too, for those who’d like the audio experience. :)

The conversation:

A: Aloe, there!  I’ve bean thinking about you. You look a-maize-ing. 

B: Aw, shucks!  It’s the avo-cardio!

A: If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber. 

B: If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.

A: Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling.

B: You’re so great, even the leaves are falling for you.

A: Honeydew you know how awesome you are?

B: You’re unbeleafable.

A: I’d say we have grape chemistry.

B: Chive never met anyone quite like you. We do make a fine pear.

A: You know, in some circles, I’m kind of a big dill.

B: It takes two to mango. Give me your best pick-up lime.

A: Hey, baby! What’s your pH? Because I think we might be soil mates.

B: Oh, you kale me! It seems that we are mint to bee. Want to hear mine?

A: Lettuce hear it.

B: If I had a garden, I’d plant our tulips together.

A: I must say, I’ve become very frond of you.

B: Fennel I see you again?

A: What say we go back to mine and Netflix and dill?

B: Let’s take a leaf of faith. I’d say it’s party thyme.

The garden was rather… productive, that season, and every season thereafter.

End Scene

And now drum-roll, please… The pièce de résistance…

The monologue:

I'd like to say, I don't carrot all when people are berry rude, but some humans are just un-bee-leaf-able.  Oh, kale yeah!  I'm feeling good from my head tomatoes.  Every day, I'm brusselin' but sometimes, all I need is peas and quiet. Sometimes, though holy guacamole! It’s time to turnup the beet! But romaine calm.  We've got all the thyme in the world.  Okie, dokie, artichokie?  Olive ewe. 

Bee well, deer friends.  


PS/QOTD: What's your favorite pun, plant-based or otherwise?  I think mine are a tie between "It's un-bee-leaf-able" and "Aloe you vera much."  Because I'm sappy (heheh) like that. 


While most of these puns have been collected from various plaques and signs over the last year, or popped into my head, some came from posts on Pinterest or from the ProFlowers site. In case you’d like to check any of those out, I’m linking them below.

ProFlowers: https://www.proflowers.com/blog/plant-and-cactus-puns

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=plant%20puns&rs=typed&term_meta[]=plant%7Ctyped&term_meta[]=puns%7Ctyped